Will you help me edit this? I am 13 and love to write, so i need a little tense help? Its supposed to be past.?

in the last paragraph in the first sentence of the preface it looks like you forgot the word "be". but other than that i personally think its really good, you may want to wait for another answer for some one else to be sure, its always good to have more than one persons opinion...you sure don't write like you're thirteen